This time of year, we’re surrounded by talk of living our passions, setting intentions, and creating resolutions. While these ideas can be uplifting, they can also feel overwhelming, especially when our inboxes are flooded with stories of people transforming their lives, seemingly overnight. If you’re unsure of your passion, if it hasn’t turned out as you hoped, or if life’s practicalities make it hard to pursue, this narrative can feel frustrating or even alienating.

The truth is, stories about following your passion often skip the messy middle. We read about the polished results, not the struggle behind them. Even when I reflect on my own experiences, I see how writing about them after the fact makes them seem neater than they were. The reality? Change is messy—always. Some moments are exhilarating, others make you question everything. A lot of the time it feels like a combination of the two.

I wanted to share three things I try to keep in mind about navigating the “follow your passion” advice:

1. Ditch “Follow Your Passion”—Try “Follow Your Curiosity” Instead.
Elizabeth Gilbert’s advice to “follow your curiosity” resonates more deeply with me. If you’re feeling stuck, notice what sparks your interest or excitement—what feels like it lights you up from the inside. Pay attention to the feelings in your body. Is there something that makes you feel connected or energized? Maybe it’s a topic you could talk about endlessly or an activity that brings you joy. Start to think about where you could fit more of that into your life, even in small ways. See where it leads, those little sparks are meaningful.

2. Build a Support System.
Find people who understand what you’re trying to do or have been there themselves. I feel like we need to talk more honestly to one another about the particulars of our struggles and how we achieved our successes. We need to share our questions and brainstorm solutions so we feel less alone in what we’re trying to do.

3. Be Open to Unfolding.
This is a tough one for me as a goal-oriented, Type-A person, but sometimes we need to let go of control and allow things to evolve naturally. Sit with the discomfort of not knowing your next step, even when it feels like the clock is ticking. 

I’m still a work in progress, balancing moments of clarity with moments of doubt. But I try to remember that every moment holds the the opportunity to make a choice that will set us on a different course. I also tell myself that we don’t need to fear messing up as much as we fear it, because no matter what we choose, we can always choose again.